breaking of the MUSIC/}!

Monday, May 23, 2005

A "beautiful" mind

Steps to getting a double degree / major in NUS especially if you're a weirdo like me whose brain is of two different halves. (assuming you don't get into USP)

1) Get admitted into one faculty.
2) Spend your first three semesters taking up as many different modules offered by as many faculties as you can.
3) Get a GPA of about (was it 4.5 or 4.8?)
4) Try to convince the vice deans of both faculties that you can handle the workload.

Well perhaps when I get into NUS my days 'll be as siong as back in TJ where I had little free time for recreation, 6 day weeks. Hopefully I don't become schizoprenic. And hopefully something decent can come out of it in contrast to my rather humble grades for the A levels. The Arts students in NUS told me that they could enjoy 4 day workweek in contrast to their Science and Engineering counterparts where they slog for 6 days. The question is, where would I truly belong, being a dual citizen of two contrasting faculties? After all, the question of whether I was an Arts or Science student haunted me when I was in JC, and even after I graduated, cos' this question affected my relationship with my CG mates (often in a negative way). In addition, the college chose not to invite me for college day cos' they considered me a science student and that I was short of one distinction to get an award.

I wonder if I can cope in the future in this pragmatic world. Watching 'A Beautiful Mind' last night, this movie sort of brought about a very important lesson for all. The message that it brought about was that it was vital to control one's mind from negative and paranoid thoughts. In addition, one must not be over-obsessed with one's passions to the extent that one is detached from reality. It has been a tough journey for John Nash, and much so for his wife. I fear that I might be like him. I fear that people might label me as someone similar to his personality.

I attended a class gathering at Fish and Co. last Saturday. Save the girls, imagine how it is like to hear your combat-fit male friends talk about their 'cheong-sua' experiences, and also the fact that they draw combat pay. Justin asked me why I was wearing 'cheong-sua' spectacles (my black-rimmed one), and I didn't know how to answer him. Sometimes it just seem awkward when you're the odd one out when discussing your NS experience. I don't know how to answer to my future son when his time comes. My male friends sort of achieved something within the short span of 4-5 months. One is becoming a specialist, another becoming a guardsmen while another is going to don the red beret. (with airborne wings as usual) The minute I try to blabber something I realise that I'd be ranting out classified information instead. So.... what can I say? I remember telling my PC back in Mohawk that I wanted to get something out of BMT. And being OOC just set me behind.

Well...I just can't make up my mind over my uncertain future.

zeligdhilee breaking the MUSIC.
11:45

Monday, May 09, 2005

A short note

Wow...... I didn't expect my tagboard to spark off another dogfight! Would my two readers please calm down? Thank you very much. In fact, I ever wonder if only two people are reading my blog. If it's so, then I'm not a good blogger cos' it's telling me that I've not been able to reach out to all my readers to the extent that it provokes a response....

Anyway, life just seem to be rather mundane. I'm in fact looking forward to college day cos' it would be the day where we all our final tributes to our alma mater. It's the day where we bask in the glory of our victorious battles, and celebrate the fruits of friendship with one another. I really, really miss being a student. If I was given a chance to start all over, I think I'd have taken a different path unlike my previous two years. I wouldn't want to be an arts student for sure cos' I'd like to see how it's like to be a science student. Biology, or perhaps Geography actually appealed to me greatly. I hated and endured through economics.... Also, I could've been in other PDPs and not debate. The band, choir, and perhaps even drama were among the CCAs I regretted not considering. Perhaps the trait of me enjoying on the stage still doesn't run dry.... Maybe, I could even have a different image of myself....

However, this means I'd have a completely different social circle. 33/03 is a very unique class. And who knows I could've been in a class that works hard more than to play hard. And for sure the end result would be completely different. I put myself on the parallel of my 'twin brother' (Zheng Quan) and realise how he gone through a completely different journey in TJ. I was a prominent person, being academically sound even though I was rather lazy to play any sports. Well I got some reasonable results but now my army life is rather mundane, something that I didn't want for my two-year stint. This is in contrast to him where he managed to keep a low profile (despite his classmates' constant blabbing that the two of us look alike), showed himself as a physcially active person yet struggling very hard to obtain what he needed to obtain. And right now, he's in an elite unit in the SAF (I shall not mention where he is to protect his privacy), and looking at his Friendster profile, he seemed rather passionate about being part of the unit.

Anyway, that's my two cents on my own counterfactual history. Hopefully things won't get boring in times to come.... Looking through so many blogs, I just feel we all have something in common. It's simple. We miss our old friends, and we have a rather ominous feeling of the future. That's all for now....

zeligdhilee breaking the MUSIC.
20:20

Monday, May 02, 2005

Reflections

One important lesson conscription gives you is that to treasure freedom well. The regimental environment in the military is enough to break you down mentally, if you don't account the tough training sessions. Yes, this applies to the combat fit. For someone like me who is stuck in the office, you'd realise that it'd be a dress rehearsal for the corporate world. Well, I'm currently digesting the book "The Art of Happiness at Work" by the Dalai Lama. Interesting book, and it's great to read the Dalai Lama's advice for Westerners in the modern corporate society...

Just had a mini class gathering today. It was a time for 33/03 to sit down and ponder upon the future that will challenge our lives. I realised how the simple decison of which university one would go (ie. NUS, NTU, SMU) was enough to fuel a debate about why one should go to a certain university and not the other. The result? Too close to call. Nevertheless, it was also a time to reminiscence on the past. For example, watching American Pie allowed Su Hui and Yoke Wen to invoke their kinky thoughts.

For the guys (actually only Kelvin, Justin and myself), it was a time to exchange the separate army experiences as fellow privates in different vocations. It was a time for the three of us to realise that we do not like being in the army. The phrase "Serve and Fuck Off" was the slogan for us. It doesn't matter what you are. The physcological impact of conscription (can we include the recitation of the 7 core values at every water parade?) was enough to made us to treasure the comforts of civilian life and of freedom. Kelvin and I took the chance to enjoy the scenary from Joanna's balcony. The beautiful sunny sky, complemented with people splashing in the pool downstairs was something that really touched my heart. It just made me realise how mundane my life had been, and how I badly needed something to help me stay positive. To the two of us, the words "For Honour and Glory" just doesn't seem to matter to us as we looked out at the sky. We just realised that we just yearned for just one simple thing: Freedom. What an irony it is when both of us were so excited over the words "For Honour and Glory" when we both met in Hendon. Like what Justin explained to the girls, we did not mean to piss them off by talking about the army but the impact the army had on us just made us dumb and consequently made our live monotomous.

I'd never know when I can meet up with the girls again. I'd never know how I can survive NS from the psychological aspect. To all the guys out here still in the army, we're all in the same boat. No matter what we are, may we have the strength to go on with what we have now....

Have you ever wondered
why must we serve
because we've no choice
and we all want to be free, to be free....
(A satire of our household army song, Training to be Soliders)

zeligdhilee breaking the MUSIC.
19:45

Sunday, May 01, 2005

Of Orchard Road

All my life, I could've considered myself an 'Orchard Road kid' even though I'd be more like a 'dinosaur' today in comparison to those youths patronising Orchard during weekends and holidays. Even though I was a resident of Tampines, Orchard Road has always been a siginificant feature of my life. Just as Orchard Road has evolved and has been remade over the years, so was I as well. Let me show you how I evolved just as Orchard Road evolved.

I was born in Mount Elizabeth Hospital, a hospital situated on a small hill hidden behind Lucky Plaza. I have forgotten why my parents chose that hospital, given the fact that it was a private hospital and its fees was considerably high. Maybe it's due to its reputation of having one of Singapore's finest doctors, or perhaps due it being a quiet and serene enclave amidst the busy shopping street. The day I was born was the beginning of my acquaintance with Orchard Road.

My mother had a salon in Orchard, and that was a place where I often spent my formative years there. When I was born, her salon was first in Far East Plaza. She was then to subesquently move to Cuppage Plaza and currently, Orchard Plaza. Whenever there was the time, I'd have the chance to look around the shopping centres around the area. Being a young kid, I'd be obsessed with toys, in particularly, Lego Bricks. One thing that made Lego my one and only toy was the fact that I could do anything I like with it. You could renact all sorts of stories and design all sorts of houses if you want to. In fact, my obsession with Lego nearly made me consider studying Architecture in university when I was making my university application. So, where do I see and acquire those bricks? Simple! The nearby Robinsons, and also the Toys R' Us at Forum was the place for me. It was where children showed their creativity via toys. Speaking of Food, the old food centre at Cuppage Centre (now Starhub centre)was often the place for delicacies. In addition, I was to enjoy the sights and sounds of both the Chingay and the Christmas Light-up. The best Christmas decorations, as usual would be at Centrepoint and Tanglin Mall...

Orchard Road really evolved over the years. With more youth-friendly amenities being built in the area, that meant that youths would make Orchard a place for all ages. The Youth Park, Takashimaya, Cineleisure and The Heeren are places for people of my age. Unfortunately, I'm not so much a movie buff nor an accessories buff compared to those youths hanging around here. My class still preferred Lido, where it was the site for a class outing during the holidays. Nevertheless, for the bookworms and scholars like me, there's library@orchard and Borders. Borders is now one of my favourite places to go in Orchard. The reader-friendly environment, such as free browsing, personalised service, the adjoining bistro are one of the reasons why Borders is always the place to calm and invigorate one's mind in the vast collection of books. I just went to Borders yesterday and I saw Lynnette working hard there. Well I chose not to disturb her, but I guessed she would have seen me walking around.

There always seem to be something for the children, the youth and the family in Orchard. However, what I realised is that Orchard Road hardly seem to have anything for the aged. I only see the aged strolling around the pavements looking dazed, perhaps oblivious to the fact that this area would forever remain young and that nothing would be suitable for them to enjoy. I wonder if Orchard would have something for me when I grow old, given the fact that Singapore's population is ageing. No doubt the government has came up with a brillant masterplan to attract more tourists into Orchard, but I wonder if the old would really have a genuine place in this vibrant area. Perhaps I should consider to 'die' in Orchard as well, but we do not know how the future would evolve..

zeligdhilee breaking the MUSIC.
10:06