Saturday, January 29, 2005
Rantings from an OOT personnel
A few of my peers have responded following my latest article and I'd like to thank you all for the moral support and encouragement. No matter what happens, I shall do whatever it takes (as in my CSM's words) to stay positive and remain strong. If not then I must. (to quote my CSM again) By the way, a few instructors have found their way to my blog. Actually, only two lah. They didn't comment that much, only saying that they read my blog. I did not give my address to anyone in Tekong but well the name 'Zenon' seems very tempting for some to type in the search engine. Even my platoon mates don't know my blog address. I think most of my instructors would have found their way here soonner or later. As for the implications of this, this means that I may have to self-censor myself in terms of content and tone. However, I'd not hesitate to comment on anything if I think a certain issue is of significance to my readers. According to one of my sergeants, the SAF is indeed concerned about what SAF personnel say in their blogs cos' they can either criticise the SAF or leak out classified information.
For the benefit of my female friends I shall continue on ranting about life inside the Mohawk Company office. Well it's another week of 'sai kang' as an OOT personnel. Actually, OOT personnel only stay on for a fortnight before they're transferred to other units till their Medical Review is done. However, I guess I'll stay on for about 3-4 weeks in BMTC because my Company clerk had to take a few days to collate the data and then send it to HQ. As usual, it always take time for the BMTC HQ to process everything, showing the gross bureaucratic nature of the SAF in place. For your information, if you lose your 11B (the SAF IC that replaces your civilian pink IC), you have to make a police report mainland, then go all the way to CMPB to make a payment ($50, then $100 and so on...), then go back to your unit to get the application processed, hence taking perhaps more than a month. That's why you should never lose anything that the SAF gives you. If you don't go to DB or sign extras (as in confinements or guard duty), the sheer bureaucratic nature of the SAF is enough to punish you.
As the past week was Field Camp, it has been very hectic for the OOT personnel. We're constantly mobilised to help load and unload stuff from the tonner that comes 4-5 times a day, such as jerry cans and field equipment. The 'sai kang' just never ends even though we do have short breaks in the air-conditioned company office. A few instructors commented that it was a pity that I didn't get to go for the Field Camp, and hence also felt that I should go for a recourse. To be frank, I've never gone outfield before. I've never attended any outdoor camps before. Well, being outdoor isn't me. It's isn't my cheese because I don't like to get dirty, neither do I want to subject myself to the mercy of the insects and snakes in the forest. Field Camp was suppose to be an eye-opener for me. My peers really learned, roughed and toughed alot during the week. 7 days without bathing, eating combat rations (they didn't even have the chance to start a fire to cook or take hot beverages), digging trenches as well as learning to how fight in the battlefield. Also, they gone through the famous BIC (Battle Innoculation Course) where you crawl on the ground through various obstacles while your instructors fire the machine gun in the open. Well, thanks to my fits I cannot afford to toy with my life as well as others. What if Zenon got into fits during field camp?
To be frank, I was actually given a choice by the MO over the decison to OOT. Actually, I could've gone for the field camp. However, given the specialist's request that I should go for any live firing, asked myself about what BMT was supposed to be. Yes, it's to shape civilians into soldiers and from boys to men, but how does a soldier fight? What does a soldier rely on in order to fend off the enemy? Go figure out the answer to my question and you'll know why I decided to go OOT. Anyway, I just got rejected by the RSAF. They won't say why but I guess the recent seizure played a part because the MOs there gave me a suspicious look when I told them that I got a history of fits.
Alot of interesting things do occur in the company office, but I cannot breathe out a word about what happens. Well, I can say that my perspective about the job scope of an administrative clerk has broadened. Being a clerk isn't just about simply making sure the things in the office is right. It also encompasses the importance of PR, a positive attitude, and more so, doing your best in these humble tasks even if it's nothing compared to your combat-fit friends. Like what my Platoon Sergeant has said, my job here would defintely help wherever I go for the remaining 22 months of my NSF. According to him, since I already know how a company or unit runs, it'd help me understand the rationale and the logistics of the way things are run in other SAF units better in the near future.
Next week is the Situational Test for my company mates, which is a crucial factor in deciding whether you can go to the commanding schools. As for myself, I got a CT scan for my brain this Tuesday. Whatever the result, the important thing is that I've to be strong-willed as well as positive-thinking. I understand that many of my peers are split over my fate. Even though you all feel that I'll get a downgrade of PES, some of you think that it'll be PES C (meaning a 7 week recourse) because you believe that fits is a one-off incident and hence will not affect my lifestyle. On the other hand, some of you think that it'll be PES E (meaning only admin jobs) because the consequences of a person getting into fits can have severe implications for himself and his peers especially when in an operation excercise, and thus it's better to be safe than sorry. Personally, I hate going for a recourse for it means going through the same process of adapting to military life. Well, it's best that I stop for now, take a break before I get to book in tomorrow. I'm damn freaking tired from all the admin work itself and it's making me sleepy to a level never experienced before ever since I enlisted. To all my fellow male friends in Tekong, enjoy your field camp. And to all my fellow female friends, just enjoy your life.
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zeligdhilee breaking the MUSIC.
18:15
Friday, January 21, 2005
OOT
It is my to my regret to inform all my faithful readers that I've just been certified OOT (Out of Training) from BMT. The MO gave me this status owing to the fact that I've just suffered from a fit (or you can all it post-seizure) about a fortnight ago. This was a rude shock to myself, my company mates as well as to my instructors, for I've never suffered from fits before for the past 10 years. However, you've to consider the fact that I do have a history of fits, and I got it only once 10 years ago.
I was attending a guard duty briefing with my fellow company mates when I just blacked out for no reason. According to my horrified company mates, I actually fell, with foam coming out of my mouth, and then I ran amok around before being caught hold by my sergeant. My specialist also found it rather bizarre, and anyway wrote a letter to the SAF MO about it. On that day, I was rushed by the SAF ambulance to Changi Hospital with a medic and my platoon sergeant to the A&E where I was completely fine. At that time, I've never thought of being OOT till I booked in the following week.
A significant majority of my platoon mates felt that I should be OOT because of the unpredictability of the fits occuring. They painted out the scenario that if I got into a second fit again in the midst of live firing and grenade throws, the consequences would be fatal and severe. Intially I thought that they wanted me out because they simply didn't like my presence, finding me a loudmouth; but after a while I felt that I was now toying with not just my life but also my platoon mates and instructors' lives. I did not want to be seen as selfish, even though I often set out my stand to them that I always sort my own house right first before going around to help others. I also did not want to jeopardize my already serious family crisis, where my mother is still on crutches and hence facing some financial difficulties.
Being OOT can be terribly boring. You just sit in the company office, being at the beck and call of your superiors, and you may end up doing 'sai kang' as well. Also, the company office is overstaffed cos' there're two other OOT personnel in my company office so that makes things even worse. However, I do get the rest I really yearn for because I've been running a fever, as well as a persistent cough cum runny nose for the past three weeks, and that the only thing in my mind now is that I must recover fully. In the pursuit of recovery, I had compromised platoon unity and my own individual performance. I just felt that the Zenon in the PTP phase was so different from the Zenon of today.
My fate now lies in a CT scan coming next month. It'd decide my upcoming PES status, even though the MO thinks a downgrade would be very likely. What would I get? C or E? No matter what, I know what's going to be of me. Either a clerk, medic or storeman. My two years of NS has never become so mundane as I had hoped for. Or perhaps, if I'm unlucky, my PES status may be of status quo which means I'd have to go for a recourse once I fully recover. I myself wouldn't want it. Going through the whole process again would be mentally frustrating.
I enlisted with great dreams running in my mind. Bringing with me the moral encouragement you readers have given me, I set my mind in improving myself, for I expected my 13 weeks to that to be of a "Zenon fairy tale", making the impossible possible. I enlisted with the hope that I would be "faster, stronger and higher" (to quote the Olympic motto). I enlisted with the hope that I would acquire knowledge that would be useful for my life. The SAF Core values, in particularly that of Discipline, Professionalism, Fighting Spirit and Care for Soldiers; was something I lack of in my civilian life, and that I wanted to make up for it. Now, all of these aims are now reduced to naught.
Nevertheless, my sergeant told me to look forward and chart new plans and new careers, and also to make good use of my weekends doing something useful. I now need to formulate an alternative plan on my own to maximise my life, now that I'm unable to use the formulated plan charted by the BMT. I've to explore new passions, new careers, new scholarships (now that I no longer qualify for the uniformed scholarships) as well as new challenges. However, I need the encouragement and guidance from my peers to help me find the way, just as these same peers have done so while I was transiting from civilian to military life. It has been a pity that I cannot acquire the new skills that my friends would learn, such as Fieldcraft where my platoon mates will get this week in their 7 day Field Camp. Also, it has been a pity that I cannot get myself physically strong, let alone get into the commanding schools. Perhaps, the military isn't really my cheese. However, I shall not stop here. The journey continues and that I must add flavour to my life on my own, searching for alternative ways to obtain the fruits where the 13-week PTP/BMT should have given me.
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zeligdhilee breaking the MUSIC.
19:55
Saturday, January 15, 2005
The 'sick' BMTC
"Dari blakan bilang!"
(A malay command for roll call)
"1,2,...14 and two blank files, sergeant!"
"10 men behind sergeant!"
BMTC now has a hidden crisis in their hands -- the vicious cycle of 'virus'. As newly enlisted people find that they're unable to push themselves to the tough training, they indeed would crowd Tekong's 24-hour medical centre. The fever, flu and cough epidemic has indeed have a significant impact on the recruits themselves, given the fact that communal living would indeed hasten the spread of disease all over the camp. OCs and PCs get frustrated with the high Attend B/C rate, while the recruits themselves get frustrated over the fact that if they report sick too often, they may not get 75% attendance and hence get a recourse. Nobody would ever want to repeat the whole BMT again indeed.
From the time I enlist up till now, which is considered my 5th week out of the 13 week PTP-BMT face, there seem to be a vicious cycle of the spread of disease all over the whole school. Lecturers and speakers in the LT have to put up with the fact that someone is coughing every single second. Let's consider my observation of Mohawk Company, which is as follows:
Week 1: Everyone's fine
Week 2: People get injured for they're not conditioned enough to put up with the tough training. In fact, my fellow platoon mate who can clock a 9 and a half minutes for his 2.4km run tore his left ligament the next day, rendering him out of action for a month. In addition, someone from another platoon got OOC because he fractured his left hand after a medicine ball drill.
Week 3: People start to cough and suffer from sore throats, for they start to lose their voices given the instructors' endless complaints that we're not singing or shouting loud enough. In fact, one of my sergeants said that
"If you lose your voice then that's good because it shows that you put in effort." This is one of the dumbest things I've ever heard from a sergeant's mouth. I shall not mention his name.
Week 4/5: People recover. However, hygiene gets gradually compromised as the need for urgency is a larger priority. For example, many people when filling up their platoon mates' water bottles tend to mix up the bottle caps, and even to the extent of putting them in unclean places, like the water/smoking point at the ground floor. Also, I keep on chiding my buddy and a few of my section mates for stepping on people's beds and chairs with their shoes on when cleaning the cupboard tops in preparation for Stand by Area. My buddy indeed said that "there's no such thing as hygiene in the army." I think he's eating his words now for he's now on Attend B due to flu.
The instructors end up discouraging people from reporting sick, using the word 'recourse' as a threat. I think they're biting their words as well as the number of people succumbing to fever, flu and cough (which includes myself) has surged for as one controls their cough without early medication, things simply get worse as well. I think my superiors' recent campaign in personal hygiene is absolutely useless. No one bothers to follow their advice, since there's no proper enforcement mechanism and given the common phrase of "do anything you like but don't get caught." If you ever ask me about this, I would rather go for the phrase of "better late than never". Often hygiene has been compromised by the need for a 'sense of urgency'. It's not because we're not physically conditioned. It's because we just simply "heck care" over the smallest illnesses. In the very first place, if you want to do well in BMT, you need to get your basic health right. Health is wealth. It would been much better if the instructors clamp down heavily over people compromising hygiene. In addition, the air-conditioned rooms in BMTC are 'sick rooms', including the medical centre.
Again, this same sergeant said that if we have a fever in the midst of the IPPT, our temperature will go down after sweating it out during the 2.4km run. Another dumb statement indeed. He is ignorant of the fact that fever can be fatal given the strenous activity that one's body can handle, and that the toxins in one's sweat can make us sick as well. Everyone's body is unique and hence it's better if one makes their own decisons.
One last example seems to be applicable to my company. (I do not know that this is relevant to other companies) After the sending of arms, one's hands would be oily for we've to oil our rifles. The stupidest thing my platoon does (and perhaps, the whole company) is to conduct water parade after sending of arms. Who knows, we end up eating small traces of inedible oil which can have serious implications for us. Unfortunately, my platoon mates are simply 'bo-chap' about this, giving the common answer as 'you won't die lah'.
If you ever ask me what's the best solution to tackle this problem, it's simple. Soap must be placed in all bunk toilets, and perhaps Dettol, the famous anti-bacteria soap, would come in handy. In addition, both instructors and recruits must play a part in ensuring hygiene, for if you compromise hygiene, you further compromise your training because your poor health prevents you from putting in your best. Apart from this, I think stand-by areas should be conducted more frequently rather than once a week, for the accumulated dust can easily trigger diseases like flu and sore throat. I really appreciate the high standards demanded by the SAF with regards to 'stand-bys' despite the fact that we all find it frustrating to handle. This shows that they care for our hygiene and health, given the last core value of "Care for Soldiers". The high standards demanded by the SAF for this has never been compromised over the years even when we get more welfare.
(At least our father's stories of having Stand-by Bed at the parade square are long over.)
I'm currently recovering from fever and I really hope to train well this week. I've been unofficially "OOC" thanks to my cough (or the MO puts it as
'Upper Respiratory Throat Infection') for a week, and I indeed worry first about going back to square one with regards to my physical fitness, and also the possibility that I may not hit 75% attendance for BMT. Training may be tough, but it's ten times better than all the "sai-kangs" that the Attend B people have to do when everyone's away from training. I can only hope that this is the last time we've such a cough epidemic in BMTC, and that everyone would take personal hygiene very seriously. My Encik's simple advice perhaps would inspire me. He told us that we must do our best and stay positive, no matter what happens.
In the early morning march,
with a field back on my back,
with an inkling in my heart,
and my body's full of sweat.
I'm a long, long, way from home,
and I miss my lover's home,
with an inkling in my heart,
and the cold wind blows.
And the cold wind blows,
and the cold wind blows,
and the cold wind blows,
and the cold wind blows.
I know, I know,
you have to go,
so hurry back home,
cos' I miss you so.
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zeligdhilee breaking the MUSIC.
23:15
