Soul Searchin' (Part 1)

Another series of articles out here soon provided I've the time... It's just like Mr Kutty (president of the writer's association) talking about the inspiration to write during yesterday's writers' symposium....

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(1) Nicoll Highway

Firstly, this is Singapore's worst MRT-construction disaster. I can even say that the carnage is worse than that of the Hotel New World in 1986. This incident has brought out alot of issues of contention, especially when lives has been lost and also given the area where the construction was taking place.

4 killed, 3 injured. I pity the Heng family for having to go through the suffering of not getting the body recovered. Perhaps he should be declared a national hero, given the fact that he was the last to leave to make sure that the fellow Thai workers were safe. Also, the people living and working near the area are now jittery over the structural safety conditions.

Some of us would now question the feasibility of building the Circle Line. When the government annouced the building of the Circle Line as well as the stations, I was rather surprised. Singapore's transport network, in my opinion, is way too dense. Perhaps we're getting to our destinations in an overly convenient way, especially those related to the 1st stage. (Dhoby Ghaut to Stadium) Also, the area where the collaspe occured was reclaimed! The fact that the tunnels are situated 30m deep, the deepest point for any MRT tunnel is a source of contention and perhaps a miscalculation in their construction. Given the weak marine clay soil, perhaps the steel beams were not strong enough? The concrete walls couldn't tolerate the pressure given the huge depth? This isn't like the ordinary MRT lines or the NEL. The government really has to get to the bottom of it, or it'll be very hard to restore the confidence of Singaporeans.

What do I mean by the word 'confidence'? Take the residents and workers situated near the Circle Line and KPE (Kallang-Paya Lebar Expressway) construction areas. They now can't sleep soundly in their beds nor operate their businesses in a peace of mind. It's not easy to placate the paranoid Singaporean. The fact that Golden Mile Complex is now facing a fall in crowd turnout (given that this is a haven for Thai nationals), as well as people moving out, it's now a challenge that the government has to tackle. In addition, the safety of the roads and the MRT tunnels as well. The board of inquiry will have to do something about this. It will be a long time before the confidence is restored. You may restore the road in 6-9 months' time, but you cannot restore the confidence nor erase the scars off Singapore's history easily in such a period of time.

Nevertheless, the tireless efforts made by the SCDF still deserves recognition. They showed their professionalism as well as their bravery in performing their search and rescue efforts. They may've failed to recover the last missing man, but they've done their best. The challenges of this crisis has yet to come, which includes the restoring of the people's confidence.

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A/N:

Part 2 is coming soon, provided I really have the time. It's less than two weeks to Temasek Nite and the rehearsals for the upcoming play is really intensive, especially when it took a long time changing the entire script as well as the storyline.

The next article will talk about a rather 'dead' debate, on whether SAP schools should exist or not? I'm going to explain why SAP schools should exist (though I'm not very proficient in Chinese). Boon Meng, if you're reading this, I know I was not in my form of asking questions, but I don't care whether I spoil the college reputation or not. It was merely a comment on the rather myopic views by the DHS students.

Also, further articles in the Soul Searchin' series will talk about other issues, provided I find the inspiration to write. Sorry it's quite short but life is just like that.

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The Short Play (小品比赛)

Yesterday, I decided to support TJ's CCC (or rather, Min Dan's) short play which were one of the six JC finalists in this nationwide competition. Much to everyone's surprise, hot favourites like SAJC, NYJC and TJC didn't win the top spot and the latter two had to settle for a consolation prize, while SAJC came in second.

One thing common in the three colleges I mentioned was, they were tragedy plays. SAJC focused on parent-teenager conflicts (the teochew songs and the movements were extremely emotional. NYJC showed a mother contemplating suicide by poisoning but her filial daughter made her get closer to regret. In fact, NYJC's ending was the most superb compared to the other colleges. To show the mother holding (or perhaps, preventing) the daughter's hand from drinking the poisoned soup (did the daughter drank it) was the biggest climax and was the best cliffhanger I've ever seen. In fact, the person acting as the mother won the best actress award. If you ever ask anyone, she truly deserved this award. The trembling of her hands and her emotions is something really difficult to master, especially to express it in an authentic way.

Many TJCians were very unhappy about the decisons of the adjudicators. It was weird that the chief adjudicator from China, as well as the Guest of Honour (Mr Yeo, MP for Aljunied as well as CASE head) gave the audience a detailed analysis of the plays done by NYJC and SAJC and yet both of them didn't clinch the top spot. The championship instead went to NJC, whose theme was the about the stress of studying Chinese. In my opinion, it was too common, plain and propagandic and I don't understand why they won. The actors from NJ weren't as outstanding compared to TJ, NY and SA. Also, TPJC came in third. Their "rules" play was rather boring as well and the ending was very bad. If you ask me, I think TPJC should get the award for worst ending, and NYJC for best ending. I hope their play isn't a true reflection of their school.

Nevertheless, Ms Tan (my chinese teacher) told us that it's all over, though Mr Gan was rather pissed with the result. However, the biggest credit should go to the CCC president, Min Dan, who wrote and directed this short play, as well as all the year 1 actors and actresses. They really put in their best in this play, and they truly performed as though the actor and the characters' personality were non-dual. They've done well, they got the gold, and kudos to everyone who've worked so hard for this competition.

Okay....a short advertisement now.... If you wanna want to watch Chinese Drama, please don't give Temasek Nite 2004 (绿园之夜) a miss. It's on Friday 7 May 2004 and 8 May 2004. I'll confirm the time and price, and this concert is at TJ's Auditourium. This above-mentioned short play, which is about teenage pregnancy, as well as two other long plays, will be presented to you in the best way possible. So, please don't give it a miss! Even if you have to prepare for your SAT, you can still catch Saturday's Performance!!
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Responses..

Following my personal opinions about the SC election campaign, a couple of "anonymouses", whom I assume are the nominees themshelves, have rebutted me in my tagboard. Here my my responses to these angry tags.

: Yr comments rgd 28th SC Electn Campaign: personally,i view the styles tt e nominees had put up are obvious tell-tale signs of their personality n creativity. It is unethical of u to make such judgement.4u straight yes-man r what u're looking 4

You're contradicting yourself by writing this because at first you said the nominees are "tell-tale". Then you said it's unethical for me to make such kind of judgement. If these nominees are "tell-tale", based on your first sentence, then I guess they didn't convince you enough cos, based on your first sentence, they're painting a facade. I can say that most nominees were sincere and serious about their campaigning, and they have to paint a facade for their own interest. It is your vote, and my judgement should not affect you. They tried to project themselves well in terms of personality and creativity, but they've no choice. However, the part which is a tell-tale is defintely their bio-datas. I don't think I'm unethical, because you fail to tell me how unethical I am. I've a rationale to be very critical here.


: Do you associate 'pom pom' with only cheerleading only? Whether by using life-size figure, black posters or blanket , it just showed how much effort , time and thought had been put into the preparations. Surely they deserved more credit than yr criticism

Such efforts put up by every nominee is common. No doubt everyone put in their effort, but what I was saying here is an opinion on whether their campaign material were convincing enough to garner votes. Every nominee deserves credit for their efforts and creativity, but some of them don't deserve credit for not pushing their points further, as well as not being convincing enough as to why they should be elected. 'pom pom' is not only cheerleading but also a symbol of college spirit, but personally, that person doesn't need to be a councillor to improve college spirit. That was merely an alternative, but to have such kind of entertaining stuff is no laughing matter.

: You have dampened all the n2 that most of the nominees have shown.

That's too bad for you all, and that's the reality of life. You haven't seen the worst being presented by the senior council when you go for the elects' camp. I suggest that you take criticisms in a positive way.

: wonder what gives u the privilege to say who's fit, who's not , who's mismatched...U R definitely 1-sided. Tk Gdness U r not in e SC

One-sided? I think you should reread my article. If I'm one-sided, I wouldn't even praise some of the nominees, or I wouldn't even criticise you all. And if I was in the SC, I think I would be very crtical of you all during interviews and other meetings. I'm an ordinary TJCian, and I'm an ordinary critic. Every TJCian has the priviledge to say who's fit, who's not and who's mismatched, not just me.

: So what are you looking for in a student councillor? Sorry, i don't want any straight answer. Some CREATIVITY pse. Tks for hearing me out.

The answer will appear indirectly when I turn up at your hustings. I don't need creativity in my answers. It's better to be straightforward like Simon Cowell or you'll be riding on a cloud of delusion.

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I guess these five anonymous nominees above who rebutted me are better prepared for wednesday's hustings. So good luck, and I'm planning to let a councillor-friend vet my questions -- to make sure they're murderous enough.
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Zenon's plans...

Sorry for not updating for so long... .with all the mind-boggling pai2 xi4 and all the MCTs aftermath, I really, really am too tired to update my blog... so here's it:

Today, I'll be talking about a couple of stuff. Firstly: (1) My MCT reflections, (2) The 28th SC Election Campaign, as well as other stuff...

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(1) MCT aftermath

If you wanna know, here's my MCT results.

GP 52.5 C5
History 63 B
Economics 48 C
Maths 55 D
Chemistry 46 D

Well... a quick glance at it would mean that I've deproved compared to last year's Promos. Also, I dare say that these moderated were all by luck, especially for Economics and Chemistry. I didn't expect the moderations for the two subjects to be so low... I've slackened, I've allowed some people from my class to overtake me when they actually shouldn't. I paid a high price for my handwriting (-5 for Maths, and the GP teacher marking my war essay wrote a small note telling me he marked me down on handwriting). It's utterly a BIG accident, and so, what's the bottomline? The bottomline is I've to work even harder, be more focused, as well as avoid slacking.... Serious work needs to be done for my impending JCTs. In fact, my targets for my JCT are AABC and B3, where it's 2As for history and maths, a B for economics and a C for chemistry. If you didn't know, Jigar actually set me quite an unreachable target for my maths, a high number I shall not mention. Also, to attain these grades will be quite a huge challenge because it's reaching an even higher level of achievement! I really dunno how I'm going to reach my targets for my subjects...

For my GP, I got 28/50 for my war essay and 24.5/50 for my compre. I find the way the teacher marking my war essay quite weird. He never seem to give any compliments for my essay and his comments are all negative! It'd be a wonder to think why you passed yet your examiner writes so many negative comments. Nevertheless, this is a small improvement from last year's disaster. I really have to do something about it. I feel that under the tutelage of Mr Hasim, things have been getting better for me for unlike Dustin Chin, he makes GP techinques more clear. I know that at this moment, many of my peers from 33 will disagree with me, but sorry. I like Mr Hasim's way of teaching. I don't give a damn about his sexual orientation. He's good means that he's good. I must find a way to do better for my essay and compre. I find it quite weird. My compre always seem to pull me down for the past 12 years!

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(2) The 28th SC Election Campaign

The campaign has started. 50 budding juniors have faced up to the challenge. Well for this Zenon here, he doesn't know who to give his vote to! Anyway, the 27th Council asked me to turn up for hustings and give all the nominees solid hell up there next wednesday. These juniors should be lucky that Vasudha has rejected my request to accompany me to the hustings because she's as murderous as me in turns of asking the juniors questions. We shall see, we shall see. The Debate Society has been well known for destroying the future of these council nominees.

This morning, the nominees campaigned to the seniors. I dare say most of them have not been convincing enough. I know it's 30 seconds, but a council nominee should learn how to manage such short time to promote himself! Some of them shoot themshelves in the foot, some of their campaign strategies backfired. Especially those who sing songs, jigs, dance, etc. I don't see any point to vote for them because they haven't made their point that well! Most of the Delta nominees suck. Sorry to all Deltans here, but your juniors are not convincing enough. I worry for Tobias's HC. I worry he cannot find a good successor to the house captaincy.

Also, there were some nominees who do have the leadership quality but I feel they're running for the wrong job. One Gamma nominee use poms for her campaign. I think she should be the cheerleading cap instead. Council's not for her. Also, another nominee used a life-size figure and displayed in the canteen. Also, he put black posters all over the college. He's another mismatch as well. I told Han Nee (Alpha House Captain) that this guy here is more suitable to be her successor rather than to be a councillor. Many of my peers I've spoken to felt he's not suited to be a councillor. Perhaps the HC is better for him. Also, another nominee pledged service. The Leo presidency is better for her. Well, leadership quality can be present in all, but how is materialises depends on what kind of job you're doing!

Of course, a few nominees deserve some compliments. The Vietnamese nominee who used a blanket was the most convincing of all. Also, the Burmese girl (who talked about giving back to Singapore) seem to be the most sincere of all. You know, you don't need glamorous posters to prove your worth. Perhaps this girl would be an example for this.

Anyway, it's just the start. The juniors have alot of days to campaign. Meanwhile, I'll start drafting my questions. The questions I posed in the forums are relatively easy. The juniors haven't see the most murderous of my questions for hustings...

Who will really live up to the council motto, Betterment Through Dedication? We shall see....
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The next step for the Year 2s

Lim Lai Cheng --- the split personality. Whenever my peers tell me about her split personality whenever they drink coffee with her, I didn't really give a damn cos' I thought our tutor's views will easily affect her impression on us. And I was quite right, though, but not entirely, as we've seen during her lecture last Wednesday.

If you ask me, I'm used to such kind of demeaning comments by a principal. Those from Chung Cheng will know why. So far, Mrs Lim has not stated explicitly her demands from our batch, as the class of 02/03 unfortunately did not do as well as the batch of 01/02. Many of our friends have expressed unhappiness in their blogs, but in my own opinion, she does have a rationale for giving this "once in a while" split personalty.

It seems to me that the tiger batch is always the most 'suay' and the most 'condemned' by educators in Singapore. This is so partly because there is a tendency that the bulls (the batch before us) and the rabbits (the batch after us) do much better than the tigers! Back in Chung Cheng, Mr Yue called our batch "shui4 mao1" (sleepy cat) and "lan3 mao1" (lazy cat). I don't understand why. We're always being intimidated by our teachers over academic issues. Is this our karma? Is this our fate? I don't know. To be frank, one inherent weakness in many of us is that we lack focus and discipline, and Mrs Lim did had a cause for giving us such a rant. No matter what she says, one thing I would never want her to declare explictly is to be ranking-oriented

No doubt the MOE has broadened the ranking system to limit such competition between schools, but I guess principals will continue to be ranking-oriented no matter what. Many of them are so number-oriented, and with the new broadened system, there is a high possibilty principals might push their CCA groups even harder in order to get that Sustained Achievement Award, etc. Mr Yue is already a very good example, for those from Chung Cheng would know. Why is there rising resentment against Mr Yue in Chung Cheng? The reason is simple. He is too obssessed with the ranking! He keeps on ranting on how badly the senior batch has done (or rather, in his own view, too low a distinction rate) and hence he would pressure subsequent batches to work even harder! Many then Sec 4s (now JC1s) were being pushed even more than my batch! We thankfully maintained the status quo. To think that Mr Yue described his batch of rabbits "Best Cohort, Worst Results" would perhaps be the most demeaning of all. No doubt everyone did better than my batch, but I wonder whether they would appreciate Mr Yue. If you ask me, the only thing I'd appreciate of Mr Yue was his chemistry lessons.

Now back to TJ. So what if we've so many retainees? So what if we've so many dropouts? So what if we're forced to drop subjects or even out of JC? It may be for our own good, but we know what is for our own good, and I guess we appreciate the tutors for helping us in this process, no matter how good or bad they are to us. We make our own choice. Ranking or performance is not everything. It's individual excellance that matters, and I'm glad most of the tutors in TJ have advocated this rather than being affixed in overall numbers. That is why, I feel, it is better to be a value-added college rather than a top five college! Thus, I feel that Mrs Lim can do anything she wants to help us but if she ever dares mentions the word "ranking", she perhaps, might be landing herself in hot soup. Her high respect and popularity will be erased overnight if she does this. However, I'm very sure she won't do that. Perhaps tutors do pressure and influence her, but I hope her personal ideology of individual excellance in both academic and non academic fields prevail. We're way too stressed, and the immense pressure from everywhere is enough. I'm glad it has not surfaced, but I hope it will never surface. TJ tutors in one way are dedicated, but one thing they should bear in mind.... they should not condemn any student where possible. TJ is driven by passion, purpose and drive, and I hope this manifesto does not get diminished in our two years.
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A side note...

Thought this blog needs something non-academic for this moment which many ppl doing in their blogs......

As you all know, the name Zenon has been unanimously agreed by all of you here as a unique name. However, the difference in how you address me is worth some humour out here....

If you know me as:

(1) Zen-non: You're my family and my classmates. Also, you're my teachers!
(2) Zee-non: You're Mr Thompson, Mr Chin, Mr Deepak, Mrs Lokman, Nicholas Lim, Salmah, Mdm Tan (my sec sch A Maths teacher), Mr Yue
(3) Zeee-non: You're Mrs Chua.
(4) Paky/Pakymon: You're Chan Yongda, Khoi Mun and some friends from CCHS 2CR 2000.
(5) Pak Hung or "Ped Hong": You're Joey and Terrence from 03/03.
(6) Bo Hong: You're my Chinese teachers.
(7) Zey-non: You're my primary school principal.
(8) Xenon: You're someone who misspelt my name and mistook me for a noble gas. Also, you're Adrian from TJC 21/03.
(9) Zheng Quan: You're from TJC 26/03, and you've mistaken me for someone from your class who is apparently my 'clone' or 'twin brother'...

P/S: I'm looking for a new simpsons-related picture to replace the one above..... so don't go away!

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I shall return......

"I shall return...." says Douglas MacArthur in 1942, when the American Colony of the Phillipines fell to the Japanese during the Second World War, and also when the notorious Bataan Death March occured. Two years on, MacArthur will liberate the Phillipines and defeat the "Tiger of Malaya" (General Yamashita) in a crushing victory at Leyte.

If you ever wonder what I'm referring to, it's my MCT results. It's really like Bataan, being "murdered" so badly compared to the promotional exams. It's even a miracle that I get my S papers approved despite all the setbacks that I've been experiencing for the past few days. Anyway, if you were wondering (including valerie who left a tag on my blog), here's my results. However, I'll not go deep into analysis until the moderation for the various subjects are done.

Maths. The worst of all. 55. Most likely it'll be a D, the worst Maths grade I ever got in four years. Guess what? It's my S paper subject! The rest of the class didn't do very well with the exception of Jeremy. Freaking Jeremy. 75. I really lost face for this... Also, resentment against Mr Quek has been rising following the MCT aftermath. What Qiong Hui said in his blog about him before the results were released came to be true. As usual, he'd be frustrated, disappointed and most of all, sympathy for us. Know what? I got at least 5 marks chopped off for poor handwriting all over the place and it means a grade difference!! I may be at fault, I may be careless, tense, etc. but to realise that a Mathematics, NOT a humanities (Mr Bala actually threatened to give me an egg for my MCT essays) or GP teacher has decided to penalise me on this petty issue is really demeaning. Perhaps it's a wake up call for me then. But of course, the MacArthur spirit shall rise. "I shall return..." I'll work hard to regain what I lost and to gain the standard that I truly deserve. Also, I've decided to continue doing the S paper even if it means an unclassified at the end. After all, I've tried, and it was one of my passions. Anyway, Jigar set me a rather unreachable target for my Maths JCT, which is 55 + 30 = 85. I shall see. When calculus comes into play, beware. Especially if you're the one who unseated me.

Economics. Another Horrendous one. 48. No difference from my promo performance and I guess it'd be a D. Mrs Ivy Lim complained that my theory of firm essay was lopsided; and Mrs Lee Lee Fong touched up my NYA essay with some beautiful strokes of her red pen. Luckily I passed the case study. However, Mrs Lim again complained the evaluation and concepts wasn't there... with such stagnation occuring between my MCT and my promos, I really dunno how I'm going to improve my econs for JCT and more importantly, the A levels. Perhaps this is the price I paid for talking crap in economics. I don't really like DRQs and MCQs which will most likely pull me down... so... I shall see whether I shall return.... By the way, there is a high possibility that nobody will get A or the worse AB for MCT, cos' the highest I've heard so far is only 59 and it's Qiong Hui... but Lynnette said someone from 09 or 10 got 60.... you can now imagine how horrendous the econs paper was...

Chemistry = Carelessness. I got 46 which may be my highest record in my two years in TJ but it's all thanks to carelessness and due to me suffering from nervous breakdown during the paper that I got this pathetic mark. I looked through my mistakes and realised that I could have easily got at least a 50. Ziyou, my fellow cross-faculty classmate, also lamented about his own carelessness. But to be frank, things have been made clearer under the mentorship of Mrs Lokman and I guess both Min Dan (remember Mrs Chua) and Jia Jun would agree with me. Also, I don't understand why I got an egg for chemical bonding. Looks like I got to relook at these mistakes, and more importantly, not to be careless especially in calculations and organic deductions cos' in my opinion, these marks are the easiest to grab. Most probably I'll get E, cos' everyone improved and the moderation will go up...

History. For Paper 3 I got 45/75 which equals 60% or a tentative B. Mr Thompson has yet to finish marking the Paper 1 essays and he said that the Balkan essay was very badly done. Mr Bala said that he marked leniently... Jeremy and I disagree.... I felt Mr Bala was actually getting stricter and stricter... I really don't know how I'll fare for history and I can kiss A goodbye.... unitil June when I shall return.... Mr Bala complained about my usual weakness which is prevalent among a minority: Sound but floating arguments. To be frank, I really blanked out when I was doing the history essays... most of my facts just didn't pop up in my mind... now I wonder how I'm going to get that A.... and the possibility that a few people in my class will unseat me as well....

As for GP I've not got them back but Mr Hasim let us see our compre for a minute yesterday. I hope I get something decent for my essay when I actually wrote on something I liked most: War....

I dare say that the MCT is a "big accident" for me, to quote the VJC principal who always use the word "accident" to describe Victorians who don't perform well for their A levels. It's a wake-up call for me not to be complacent, overconfident, as thus calling for the need to be focussed, serious and not to be slacky. I don't know how I'm going to do this when my second term is very packed. The pai2 xi4 has been very taxing and the combined rehearsal is next Saturday, to everyone's horror.... Also, I've to do something regarding the IHL debates... I haven't even read the first few pages of the Geneva Convention.... And one more thing, Tobias asked me to be a guest emcee for his house function (he felt I should talk after reading my blog).... I said yes cos' I wanted to destress and felt that having some chat on stage would be good.... The aftermath of the MCTs has hit me very terribly.... and it's worth a serious reflection on my poor time management....

"I shall return...."

P/S (my responses to the tags):

Diane: welcome to my blog! hope you're doing fine in RJ...
Ashke: No doubt China will be cautious especially when they have the Olympic Games to organize in 2008... they want high diplomatic advantages for them... and also not all Taiwanese are pro=independence. The massive crowds supporting Lien Chan is already an example.


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ABOUT ME

ZELIG-DHI LEE
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